Half a year

Hey2... Again... I am back... It has been half a year back.. Looking back at the last post, owh it was my 21st lunar birthday... Time.. time.. time... you really pass me by too quickly... I dont have any chance to grasp you in hand... Why i will end up in blogspot today?? at this time?? i was quite curious actually.. suddenly there is a strong desire who drives me here... Maybe it's God.. HE wanted me to look back at what i promise half year ago.. Did i do that?? Hmnn... It has been a very very tiring half year... Days are very normal but it was rather tough.. I never has that strong feeling of loneliness before... Now, I tend to be very quiet.. I dont even has much intention to make new friends.. Maybe, or it is indeed, I prefer alone now... Finally i realise, what is called friend?? Am I a failure?? it might be a joke though.. I dont have a single friend there... Not even one... I was so frusfrated with the surroundings, the people there, everything there doesnt seem allright for me.. and this is the first time i feel like i want to go home as soon as possible... i dont even want to stay there for an extra second.... i am really down... nothing is worst than this... I try my best to start to love it.. but i still couldnt find the sense of belonging... or am i too picky?? i might have meet the correct one, but i didnt realise?? no no no... even the last one i feel all right is not all right now.. I know, I have to wear a mask from now... A mask which covers me from happiness and loneliness... I have to be strong.. Staying strong alone is tough, but I will do my ever best... Learning to adapt while struggling... Strive until the very last moment.. I know now, only a good result can guarantee you everything... So.. time to reflect.. Take away all the unwanted and keep the good one... I know you can do it as you believe in yourself and GOD.. They will help you and guide you throughout the way..